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Sleepy Wombat

OT - Economic Models explained

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SOCIALISM You have 2 cows You give one to your neighbour COMMUNISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and shoots you BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows You sell one and buy a bull Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows You sell them and retire on the income SURREALISM You have two giraffes The government requires you to take harmonica lessons AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows No balance sheet provided with the release The public then buys your bull A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows You go on strike, organise a riot, and b lock the roads, because you want three cows A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are You decide to have lunch A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You count them and learn you have five cows You count them again and learn you have 42 cows You count them again and learn you have 2 cows You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you You charge the owners for storing them A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows You have 300 people milking them You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You worship them A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows Both are mad AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows You tell them that you have none No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows Business seems pretty good You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows The one on the left looks very attractive A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION You have two cows One is a black cow and one is a white cow. The white cow produces more milk but the black cow is previously disadvantaged so you obtain a contract to supply milk to the state at inflated prices. The black cow joins a Cosatu strike against high food prices while the white cow continues to produce milk. The state discovers that you are selling it milk from the white cow, accuses you of fronting, revokes your BEE status and re-possesses both cows. Both cows are slaughtered to celebrate Zuma's inauguration. Cosatu commence a second strike because now there is no milk...

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Great one Sleepy

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I am moving to Australia.

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Ha, ha. I think the Kiwis are going to strike back, though. The Scottish Corporation will join them. Edited by Nathan

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I resent that. Only one of them is mad. The others got foot and mouth.

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We have a few people here milking a couple of jobs, no cows.

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I had two cows and the Bush-italism shrank them so now the give the milk of one cow.

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I must edit AUSTRALIA to read AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows Business seems pretty good You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate... But Now..... We changed Government to Kevin in late 07, And by 08 we new it was to late. The new governing ship had a broken Rudd-er With the Global Milk Shortage he began to shudder, From the advice of a Swan, and Rudd's dictating ways Decides to waste and give all of our surplus milk away... But wait, theres more, to this woeful tale, And just like Kevin, I will be short on detail. We need to go in to deficit he decrees, I will bring this country to its knees., And that my friend is the sad sad Swan song, My kids, kids will still be trying to payback the milk deficit, Long after I am gone. (Sleepy)

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM AMERICANIZED AN EDITORIAL You have two cows You sell one and buy a bull Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows The governent sees your wise management and profits and increases your taxes to help the less fortunate who mismanaged their cows. You continue to manage wisely and pay ever increasing taxes as others gamble with shady practices making lots of money before leaving their farms for other countries with only starving cows left behind. You're barely making ends meet, but now the situation is terible for all farms som the government "steps in to help farmers" Since you manage wisely and have no debt you get no aide and have to cut the price of your milk to compete with the ENRON Farms the Government is rescuing. You sell them and retire on the income hoping it's enough to pay for your funeral when that time comes.

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During Election campaign, promising are made that each home will get a cow for free After elected you will review the possiblity to puchase the cow -first year over you will review the Possiblity to Allote the Cow to the list of beneificer second year over you will review the Possiblity to release the Cow to the list of beneificer three year over People don't get cow file case against you in Court fourth year over court will conduct investigation fifth year over Election will follow New you formed, this you will close the scheme Finally nobody gets cow!!! Edited by rpraveenkum

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You have two cows. The milk output of one cow is declining, so you decide to buy another cow. The price of the new cow is many times what you expected a cow to cost. You pay anyways, you need to get your milk production back up. Your delivery truck brings one skinny cow and a very fat pig that you did not want and cannot afford to feed.

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